Well, since it’s already mid-October, and I haven’t even STARTED to post any horror reviews (AND THIS IS MY FAVOURITE HOLIDAY!!), I have some catching up to do! So, my first order of business is suspending “Cozy Sunday” for the month, and making it SPOOKY SUNDAY!!

3 out of 5 Stars

Thank you to Netgalley for supplying me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Synopsis

An award-winning horror/mystery with loads of dark comedy!

Inside all of us, there is darkness. Inside Clive, it’s tangible, and it’s aching to get out.

What Hides Within tells the story of a man held captive by an unknown evil. Clive Menard is a spineless slacker leading an ordinary existence. But when Chester enters his life, it becomes far from ordinary.

A disheveled Clive stands alone in a hospital waiting room. A series of incidences have led him to undergo unnecessary neurosurgery. A voice inside Clive’s head nags him to kill the doctor.

Weeks prior, a murder investigation and an unrelated kayaking excursion set the story’s interlocking events in motion. When a remorseful killer, a bomb-happy psychopath and a mysterious widow spider converge upon Clive, they bring with them destruction and death. Clive must discover who or what is steering his very existence before he, too, is consumed by the carnage around him.

With a driven detective following his every step and a vicious killer hiding within his circle of friends, Clive must walk a narrow and dangerous path, teetering between salvation and damnation. He must confront Chester and his own demons. But is he powerless to overcome them?

An EPIC Finalist, “Best Horror of 2013” read and eFestival eBook Award Runner-Up for Best Horror.

My Thoughts

Usually I love a dark comedy horror but, this one was a little disjointed. I just couldn’t seem to get a feeling for what kind of a book it was trying to be. Was it trying to be more of a parody with hints of the bizzaro? Was it trying to be serious? I almost feel that Parent tried for both and would up failing at either because it just got confusing.

Now, in saying that, I’m not saying the book was bad… Just a little off-key. I feel that if the author had picked a side, I could have been writing a 5 star review.

The Good:

–It IS funny and twisted. Two things I look for in a book!

-The book got extra points for mentioning Zelda. It spoke to my geeky gamer soul! Ha ha!

-His completely accurate description of waiting in a Doctor’s office

“He was still alone even after the forty-two minutes it had taken him to complete the paperwork. And even though he was alone, it took another forty-nine minutes for his name to be called.”

The Bad

-Clive is a disgusting slob of a human being, and I really didn’t care what happened to him,

“He swung the mirror-door of his medicine cabinet open. From it, he grabbed a disposable razor and hopped into the shower, where he did everything from shaving to pissing to brushing his teeth. He’d have taken a shit in there too if he could have figured out how to push his crap down the drain. Saves time. Easy cleanup.”

–They keep calling Clive “Cli” by way of a nickname (Ya… I know you’re all thinking “Really, Nicole?? THAT’S a complaint??” But… Yes. His name is ONE DAMNED SYLLABLE!! Can’t they just pronounce the ve? I mean, who does that??

-The parts that, I think, were supposed to be funny.. But, just came off a little confusing. Like Clive dealing with the Doctors,

“Mr. Menard, there are a number of medical problems that may result in hearing voices or other hallucinations. You’re not necessarily insane— but most likely you are. However , that’s a bit beyond my area of expertise. If we’re done here, I’ll refer you to someone who can perform a CAT scan. There will be an additional fee for that, of course.”

“Ha! Not this time. I’m not falling for that one twice.”

“Unfortunately, this time I’m not joking.”

“Seriously?” Clive asked.

“No, not seriously.”

“Damn, you got me again.”

“Nope, now I got you. There really is a fee.” Asshole.

“All right. Set it up if you think it’s necessary.”

“Mr. Menard , if you’re hearing voices, it’s necessary. I’ll have them rush you in early next week.”

“Is that it, then?”

“Yep. Your ears, nose, and throat all seem fine. My work here is done. It’s your head that appears to be fucked-up.”

The Ugly

-I can handle a lot of gross stuff. I’m the Queen of gory horrors. But, this book had a lot of silly things in it that shouldn’t have grossed me out, but did. Like Clive pulling a spider web out of his nose, and jamming a Q-Tip into his ear farther than the recommended depth. I know. Sounds weird… But, it is the stupid little things that are like my “nails of a chalkboard” or “teeth on a popsicle stick”.

All in all it’s a decent book with a messed up ending! And, free for Kindle Unlimited at the moment! So, a good time to try it out!

Pick up your copy HERE!

Author Bio

In his head, Jason Parent lives in many places, but in the real world, he calls New England his home. The region offers an abundance of settings for his writing and many wonderful places in which to write them. He currently resides in Southeastern Massachusetts with his cuddly corgi named Calypso.

In a prior life, Jason spent most of his time in front of a judge . . . as a civil litigator. When he finally tired of Latin phrases no one knew how to pronounce and explaining to people that real lawsuits are not started, tried and finalized within the 60-minute timeframe they see on TV (it’s harassing the witness; no one throws vicious woodland creatures at them), he traded in his cheap suits for flip flops and designer stubble. The flops got repossessed the next day, and he’s back in the legal field . . . sorta. But that’s another story.

When he’s not working, Jason likes to kayak, catch a movie, travel any place that will let him enter, and play just about any sport (except that ball tied to the pole thing where you basically just whack the ball until it twists into a knot or takes somebody’s head off – he misses the appeal). And read and write, of course. He does that too sometimes.

Please visit the author on Facebook, on Twitter, or at his website, for information regarding upcoming events or releases, or if you have any questions or comments for him.

What Hides Within is Best Served with a Spider’s Kiss

Ingredients

• 1 bottle chocolate syrup (or some dark chocolate put in the microwave for about a minute)
• 1 part Melon Liqueur
• 1 part Vodka
• 1/2 lemon (juiced)
• Dash grenadine
• Garnish: chocolate-dipped orange slice

Directions

1. Draw a chocolate web onto a cocktail glass. Place in freezer and chill for a ghostly effect.  (I did not have chocolate syrup, so I meted some dark chocolate in the microwave and drew the webs with a chopstick! …Just call me MacGuyver!)
2. Add the melon liqueur, vodka, and lemon juice to a cocktail shaker with ice
3. Shake well. Strain into the prepared glass.
4. For a blood effect, drizzle grenadine down the side of the glass.Garnish with a chocolate-dipped orange slice.
5. CHEERS!!