5 out of 5 Stars

Synopsis

Kingdoms wobble, crowns topple and knives flash on the magical Discworld as the statutory three witches meddle in royal politics. The wyrd sisters battle against frightful odds to put the rightful king on the throne. At least, that’s what they think..

My Thoughts

My ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE Terry Pratchett novel!! FINALLY!! I was so excited to get to this one (sorry I’m still a little late… my health has not been great the last couple of weeks).

A book of Witches and Kingdoms and the age old question…. to meddle, or not to meddle? When the Witches find a baby and a crown, what are they going to do? If you try to hide them, they have a way of turning up eventually…. but, it doesn’t even look much like a crown, anyways…

“Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things. Well-known fact.”

So, as in Fairy Tales of old, they hide the child. But, not without giving his 3 gifts. One bestowed from each witch.

-May he make friends easily

-May he have a good memory. He’ll always remember the words.

-Let him be whoever he thinks he is.

The Throne is taken up by Duke Felmet, who is “so far around the twist you could use him to open wine bottles”,after King Verence takes an unfortunate tumble down the stairs… stairs that, of course, the Duke and Lady Felmet were nowhere near.

With the help of his Fool who shows him that “Words can change the world.” he can do everything he’s ever planned? Cutting down the forests?? No, no…. we’re “embarking upon a far-reaching and ambitious plan to expand the agricultural industry, provide long-term employment in the sawmills, open new land for development, and reduce the scope for banditry.” And, we’re not burning people’s houses down! We’re starting “hygienic urban clearance!”

But, the Fool can’t prove himself to everyone… as Granny says, “A man who tinkles all day. No kind of husband for anyone, I’d say”. As he tries to prove that he’s enough man for Magrat he learns that, “Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear burning embarrassment.”

This book has everything. Humor, Action, Murder, Wonderful Shakespearean references…. if only Lady MacBeth had thought of a cheese grater…

Check out the reviews from some of the other participants this month!!

Book Beach Bunny

Didi Oviatt

Pages Below the Vaulted Sky

Meeghan Reads and Bakes

And, as an added bonus (because you know that you were all wondering!) The lyrics for Nanny Ogg’s famous song “The Hedgehog Can Never be Buggered At All”!

1. You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
   in the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
   Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall–
   but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
2. If you’re feeling quite coarse, you can bugger the horse,
   or the palfrey, the jennet, the stallion (with force),
   You can bugger the donkey, the mare, or the mule,
   Though to bugger the pony is needlessly cruel.
3. You can bugger the ox (if you stand on a box)
   And vulpologists say you can bugger the fox,
   You can bugger the shrew, though it’s awfully small–
   but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.
4. Herptologists gasp you can bugger the asp,
   Entymologists claim you can bugger the wasp.
   If an insects your thing, man, then just have a ball–
   But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
5. And the elephant too, that you meet in the zoo,
   Can be buggered if you are sure just what to do,
   You will need a large mattress upon which to fall–
   but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.
6. You can bugger the bees if your down on your knees,
   You can bugger the termites with terminal ease
   you can bugger the beetle, the ladybug (bird!) too,
   there’s no end to the buggering that you can do.
7. You can bugger the cat if it isn’t to fat
   You can bugger the rabbit you draw from your hat
   You can bugger the shark that you’ve chased in your yawl–
   but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
8. You can bugger the ermine, and all other vermine,
   like rats, mice, and roaches, if your not discernin’.
   You can bugger the dog, it will come when you call–
   but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
9. Although Mr. Tiggy is not very big, he
   Avoids with great ease those who fancy his arse.
   He just curls in a ball, shows his prickles and all–
   And the would-be seducer leaves himin the grass
10. If you’re that kind of fool, and you have a long tool,
    Do it with a giraffe, if you stand on a stool,
    Catch a yeti, who lives in the snows of Nepal–
    but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
11. For the hedgehog escapes the posterior rapes
    Performed upon others of different shapes
    Those who run, swim, or slither, they get it withal–
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
12. It is said, if you try, you can bugger the fly,
    Or the swallow as it skims so skilfully by,
    Use a noose or a net, or lime (if you’ve the gall)–
    but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all
13. You can bugger the cow (I will not tell you how),
    Or the boar, or the piglet, the shoat or the sow,
    You can bugger the ass as it stands in the stall–
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
14. You can order or shoo ‘im, or run a knife through ‘im
    The one thing you cannot do is stick it to ‘im.
    If you try to seduce ‘im, you’ll end in a fix,
    His prickles defend him against rampant pricks.
15. You can bugger the ram, you can bugger the lamb,
    You can bugger the ewe, though the wether’s a sham,
    You can bugger the tiger (it may caterwaul)
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
16. You can bugger the seal, you can bugger the eel,
    You can bugger the crab, though they say it can’t feel,
    You can bugger the bat as the night casts its pall,
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
17. You can bugger the snake (hold it down with a rake),
    Though to bugger the quetzal may be a mistake.
    You can bugger the billy, the nanny the kid,
    But to bugger the hedeghog just cannot be did.
18. You can bugger the slug, though it messes the rug,
    You can bugger the different species of bug,
    Or do it with a snail, if you slow to a crawl,
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
19. At the end of the day, when you’ve had your rough way
    With all of those creatures, you’ll just have to say
    “That damned Erinaceous has been my downfall–”
    For the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Wyrd Sisters is Best Served with a Mulled Port and Lemon

There were so many options in this book! But, I had to go with Granny’s drink of choice!

Ingredients

• 1 Bottle Port Wine
• 5 Star Anise
• 2 Cinnamon Sticks
• 6 Whole Cloves
• 1 Orange Sliced
• 1 Lemon Sliced
• Lemonade

Directions

1. Mix everything except lemonade in a pot on the stove
2. Bring to a simmer
3. Let sit for flavours to combine
4. Let cool overnight
5. Pour in glass with orange and lemon slices for garnish
6. Top with Lemonade and Ice