Music Monday: Who Did it Better? All Apologies

First I ruled out O’Conner. I had to crank the volume up to max to hear the lyrics. The video seemed like she was turning it into a dirge for nonconforming little girls. I can see her point but it would be more valid if it included all people who don’t fit in with the world’s expectations. There’s a lot of us on both sides of the gender divide.

Iron Horse had an interesting take on it, a kind of upbeat folksy delivery. It reminds me of Mumford and Sons. Almost every song they do is about a man who hates himself for not living up to his own standards.

But I gotta give my vote to the original artist. Overwhelmingly. Very powerful performance.

Kurt Cobain wrote the song about himself and dedicated it to his wife. He believed that he was not a good person but that he wasn’t able to change who he was. Apologizing about what he knew were his shortcomings and for feeling trapped – “married… buried.”

Sometimes the sun would come out and he’d feel whole. Most of the time it was cloudy. It is a universal song, understood by anyone in the same position.

I know exactly how he felt. I would like to be that “good person” but I’m like a puzzle piece in the wrong box. I try to be a good husband and parent but I fall short in many ways. The things I did that I shouldn’t have – and those I did not do but should have. The things I didn’t notice that were obvious.

I am what I am and any change is going to come slowly, if at all. True of everyone but some people fit into their world much better than others. We know how it worked out for Kurt.

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