Orconomics :A Satire

orconomics

4 out of 5 Stars

A story of the Economics of Heroes. A Fantastical take on Modern Society showing a side of  Fantasy that you probably haven’t thought of! Sure, those of us who have played D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) know that we adventure to acquire loot to sell and buy better gear, etc… But, how many people really have their hands in that pie?? What take of that loot is actually ours to spend? In a Fantasy World where Heroes are sponsored by Corporations, and the Heroes Guild has made being a Hero into a career, there don’t seem to be any real heroes left.. just a bottom line,

“Surely you’re familiar with our gross domestic product.”

“Of course I am. Why do ye think I’m drinking imported?” said Gorm, shaking his tankard at the noctomancer. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“No, I mean our GDP-the total value of everything that’s made or done in the Freedlands. It’s a big number, but if you break it down, four out of every ten giltin are linked with professional heroics.”

“Forty percent of the economy is loot?” said Kaitha.

“Loot, or plunder funds, or weapons and armor manufacturing, or potion brewers, or inns that cater to adventurers, or hoard-appraising, and so on,” said the noctomancer. “There’s a lot of work done and products sold to support questing heroes. If we stopped, what happens to the workers and the sellers? They’d lose everything. They’d starve in the streets.”

But, what if that’s not all there is to it? What if there could be real heroes still out there?

Gorm Ingerson is a washed up ex-hero. After tales of him running away from the dungeon of the Spider King and his whole party being wiped out became a thing of legend and song… So, did his legacy. Now he drinks and steals and does what he must to get by.

When a chance encounter with an old friend proves that sometimes over-embibing can be costly to one’s health.. In more ways than one! He finds himself signed up for a Quest he can’t get out of, part of a Prophesy he doesn’t care about and part of a Party he doesn’t want to be a part of. Best to just get this over with, retrieving the Elven Marbles from Myrewood Forest (and just the OUTSKIRT of it) couldn’t be THAT hard.. Could it?

Review

This book was so unexpected! When I saw Satire, I feel that I was expecting more of a spoof. It’s definitely a subtle commentary on modern society and the things we, as geeks, don’t think about the workings of in all of these magical lands that we read about. I loved the stark reality of it spelled out for us! This book was amusing at times with veiled (or not so veiled) references, can you figure this one out??

“Gorm looked up at a tiny winged figure glowing with such intense blue light that it seemed to be standing in a sphere. “Blood and ashes,” he swore. “A search sprite”

“All they are is a bit of knowledge with a mouth,” Gorm told Gleebek as they walked. “They only exist to tell ye obvious things, so they don’t shut up till they wear off. Could be days.”

“Hey! Listen!” shrieked the sprite.

Anyone who played a certain beloved adventure game should recognize it!! Lol!

I loved all of the references to the typical Fantasy tropes!

“”No, no,” said Gorm. “I ain’t splitting the party. She’s making a joke, lad”

“So splitting the party is bad, then?” said Niln.

“You never split the party,” said Laruna.

“It’s right in the Heroes’ Guild Handbook,” said Jynn.

“Someone always wanders off to grab something shiny or test a lever or something, and the next thing you know they’re coming back with some horrible monster following them,” said Kaitha.

“Usually when you’re in the middle of a massive fight with something else,” said Gorm.

“If they come back at all,” said Heraldin.”

But, it was serious as well. The characters were all very well written and relatable… weird thing to say about Fantasy characters. But, they were quite the down to earth misfit group of Fantasy characters, so everyone will definitely understand the feelings and growth within the motley band!

Gleebek, the friendly Goblin/Squire

Heraldin, the would-be womanizing Bard/”acquisition specialist”

Jynn and Laruna the opposing Noctomancer and Solamancer

Kaitha, the Elixir addicted Ranger who used to be something

Gaist, mysteriously never speaks and was the first volunteer for the Quest

And Niln, the “Seventh Hero” who recruits them all  “I’d say you have a destiny, and choices are the steps you take to reach it.”

Gorm was the best character! I believe he was described best by party, Kaitha,  “Beneath his curmudgeonly facade was, well, yes, a genuine curmudgeon who clearly cared for her.” He can be abrasive, uncaring, and rude… but he’s the Mother Hen you never knew you always wanted! He’s a Dwarf with a big heart and someone you want fighting on your side.

This book really gets you thinking about the World beyond the Fantasy. It brings it to a  real place and has you questioning what makes someone a “Hero”.

“Niln eventually broke the silence. “I always thought of heroes as these paragons, archetypes of man,” he said. “The best we had to offer. That’s what the stories and ballads tell us. They’re just average people with pure hearts and righteous intentions, and then… I don’t know… things just work out for them. They save the day. And it’s not because they’re strong or skilled or have ridiculously sharp flaming swords. I mean, maybe they have strength and skill and weapons, but the villain has those things too. They’re not the reason the heroes win because they’re good.”

Gorm sighed. “But those are just stories. The truth is that mankind needs to be defended from monsters, and doing as much takes stone-hearted killers. There ain’t no honor in it. It’s a job. Sometimes, the ones who are best at it ain’t much better than the monsters themselves.”

I can’t wait to continue my journey with the party. If you want to learn about Dwarven Reproduction, God’s Middle Management,  and Elixir Addiction (who doesn’t?!) I really recommend this book!!

Learn more about J. Zachary Pike and his works at His Website, Facebook, Twitter @jzacharypike

Also, pick up the book yourself on:

Kobo

Audible Canada

Audible US

Orconomics: A Satire is Best Served With

J. Zachary Pike’s Healing Elixir

O.K…. So, it’s actually an Amaretto Sour… But, when he let me know that it was one of his go to drinks… It was all that I could think about. I actually had a different drink planned and he had me throwing all thought out the window for just a sip of that wonderful Elixir. Which, is EXACTLY the type of drink I was looking for!!

In a Fantasy world where Heroes become addicted to their Healing Elixir’s

After that much exposure to sorcerous healing, a person could begin to like the sensation of the elixirs, or even to need it. The streets of Arth’s cities were littered with ex-heroes who had become too dependent on salve to adventure, or to find another job, or to do anything beyond acquire more healing potions.”

I thought that it would be great to make an Elixir of my own! Just drink in moderation! I don’t need you all begging for more! There are SO MANY ways to make this drink… I just went with a super simple basic sour.

elixir

Ingredients

  • 2 oz Amaretto (ok… I used Disaronno, which is technically and amaretto LIKE liqueur… whatever!)
  • 1 oz Lemon Juice
  • 1/5 oz simple syrup (if you don’t like a lot of lemon bite)
  • optional Maraschino cherries for garnish

Directions

  1. Put liqueur, lemon juice and simple syrup (if you use it… I find it sweet enough on it’s own.. but, I pretty much have ZERO sweet tooth) in a shaker with NO ice. Shake just to mix (you can really just put it in the glass and stir if you prefer, but I find that it just never mixes properly that way)
  2. Pour into a glass filled with ice
  3. Garnish with cherries if you wish
  4. CHEERS!!

 

15 thoughts on “Orconomics :A Satire

Add yours

    1. Ha ha! Oh, I wouldn’t bet on that! This one is just a fantasy book so if you’ve ever enjoyed a fantasy MOVIE even you’d enjoy this one! It’s also humorous to see a world of orcs, goblins and trolls so closely mirroring our own for once! Lol!

      Liked by 1 person

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