Love, Cutter
Michelle Jester
Publication date: August 28th 2018
Genres: Contemporary, New Adult

4.5 out of 5 Stars

Thank you to Xpresso Book Tours for the opportunity to be on the tour for this AMAZING book!!

Synopsis

After an attempted suicide Carter finds himself in a coma. He is able to hear the world around him, yet he can’t move. What he hears propels Carter to begin to see life in a new way, especially when one of his nurses, Kinley, shares parts of her tragic past with him. Soon, Carter realizes he is falling in love with her.

Months after being transferred from the hospital, to a rehabilitation facility, he suddenly wakes up with a passion to live that he never had before and a determination to find the one person he feels may be able to help him put the pieces of his life together again. However, when he returns to the hospital, Kinley is gone and Carter must try to find her based solely on the things she shared with him while he was in a coma.

Only, nothing is as it seems and Carter learns the biggest lesson of them all… the differences between expectation, perception, and reality.

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My Thoughts

“Nobody just wakes up and says, “Today is a good day to kill myself.” Some people, maybe even you, are thinking, ‘Yes, actually, people do that. They must, or why else would that day be the day they did it?’ But you are missing the one word in my statement that matters most, just.”

At first, I thought I wasn’t going to like this book. Carter, in his vegetative state is able to hear those around him, and he just seemed so bitter I thought I was going to be annoyed by it… then a few chapters in I was sobbing like a child. What is the phrase everyone keeps using? …ugly crying?? Yup, that was me. Gut wrenching sobs from my soul.

Love, Cutter was beautiful, and painful. It was about second chances when despair almost took the first chance away.

This book was so personal. As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression for years, the characters were so realistic and honest, 

“So, there is one option left: do it myself. But then, I shrug that option off because, truth is, I don’t really want to die. I want my life to be better. I want to be better. I just don’t see any other options. So, I live everyday knowing my options are dwindling and I am not good for anything. Until one day, I know the day has come. The day I wake up and know that I have no other options. Today is the day I kill myself.”

The loss of hope, seeing no other options, feeling there’s no one to turn to… it’s what people struggle with every day.

“Kinley thought how hard it is to ask for something that you desperately need. If you need money, it’s hard to ask for a dollar. If you need comfort, it’s hard to ask for a hug.”

I love how different Carter and Kinley’s lives were, the parallel between Carter’s hopeless state when you would think that he has everything, to Kinley, with nothing much and who had lost so much, and yet seems to have SO MUCH hope,

“I think about how people are so different; I needed to feel something and you needed to feel nothing. You know what else I can’t stop thinking about, Carter?” she sobbed through her whisper, “How many people passed over you? How many lights faded on you? I can’t stop crying for you, knowing that it must’ve been a lot for you to lose all hope.”

These characters suffered from issues that people face every day, 

“Kinley often envied people who lie down at night and simply fall into a deep, restful slumber. Every time someone says they are asleep before their head hits the pillow, she can’t relate. For her, nighttime was always restless. She found out the hard way that her brain thrived on quiet; so did her anxiety.”

I will say that the one issue that I had with this book was how nicely and perfectly things worked themselves out, everyone seemed to realize, suddenly, that they had lost sight of their priorities, that they needed to turn their lives around, rekindle their loves, etc. If only life worked like that… and if only everyone were so lucky to have their suicide attempt botched and have the chance to realize that maybe everything isn’t as dire as they thought… if only we could all realize things aren’t as dire as we thought WITHOUT a suicide attempt AT ALL! … Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.

But, even with the Disney sort of life changes in this book, it’s a story that anyone suffering in silence should read. I know that it hurt my soul, and it gave me hope. I hope it can give hope to some of you out there as well.

Author Bio

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Love, Cutter is Best Served with an Angel’s Kiss

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 ounces crème de cacao
• 1 1/2 ounces heavy cream
• 1 1/2 ounces brandy

Directions

1. Pour the crème de cacao into a 5-ounce glass.
2. Using the convex side of a barspoon, slowly pour the cream over the crème de cacao, making sure not to disturb it, to create a layered effect.
3. Using the same technique, layer the brandy over the cream.
4. CHEERS!!