Jane Austen Fan Fiction/Pisces Month: Mr. Darcy’s Mermaid by Norma de Plume

2 out of 5 Stars

Synopsis

Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy are content with their lives, in and out of their private chambers. When the Bingleys visit to search for their own estate in Derbyshire, Jane’s pregnancy serves as a reminder of the one thing that would complete their lives; an heir for Pemberley. Concerned by the strain their company has brought, Mr. Darcy decides to treat Elizabeth to a honeymoon trip to focus on the joy of their own relationship.

Sequestered on a private holiday they discover the bliss of impropriety.

Mr. Darcy’s Mermaid is a romantic and sensual interlude intended for those 18 and older.

*WARNING* this review may contain some explicit content! (… But, when AREN’T my reviews explicit?? πŸ˜…)

My Thoughts

Well, since this novella is SUPER short, this review is going to be short and sweet. First of all, NORMA DE PLUME?? πŸ€”πŸ€£πŸ€£ That is the best author pen name I’ve ever seen!!

Secondly, this story is pretty much an excuse to write about Darcy and Lizzie having a bunch of sex. Which frankly, always weirds me out! I can also never get over some of the words that authors use for people’s body bits and bobs. This one had some REAL GEMS!!

“Elizabeth’s hand found his velvet lightning rod beneath her as her plump nether lips presented their warmth and evidence of arousal to Darcy’s torso. Moaning into Lizzy’s caresses, Darcy palmed Elizabeth’s luscious globes, spreading them to ease the entrance of his masculinity.”

lightning rob.gif

“Velvet lightning rod”? “luscious globes”?? HA HA HA!! It’s always hard for me to get all steamed up with some of these word choices.

Which leads me to a question:

What are some of your favourite terms for parts of the body?? Has anyone seen any really good ones lately? (to be clear, WORDS. Not parts of the body! πŸ˜‰)

Share in the comments below!

And, because I just can’t help myself sometimes....

Mr. Darcy’s Mermaid is Best Served with a Slippery Nipple Shot

20190224_090916.jpg

Get it?? Mermaid… water…. SLIPPERY?!! Sometimes, I kill myself….

Ingredients

  • 1/2 oz White Sambuca Liqueur
  • 1/2 oz Irish Cream Liqueur
  • 1 cherry or drop of grenadine

Directions

  1. Pour in white Sambuca
  2. Add cherry or grenadine for the “nipple”
  3. Slowly top with Irish cream by pouring over the back of a spoon
  4. CHEERS!!!

 

22 thoughts on “Jane Austen Fan Fiction/Pisces Month: Mr. Darcy’s Mermaid by Norma de Plume

Add yours

  1. Girl what’s this obsession with Darcy and sex…
    One part of me is happy review tells me humans having sex… Not moose or bear or reindeer..πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚
    The other part is just cackling with laughter 🀣🀣

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hey, this was ONLY because it had to do with “mermaid” and it’s Jane Austen Sunday!! As for my obsession with Darcy?? Just ask half the women on the planet about that one!! πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ’–
      I’m not really an erotica kind of gal… But, I’m juvenile enough to love silly names for parts of the body!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha now I am wondering if that was the reason you are with me… You couldn’t turn down weird stuff!! πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yay! Darcy-porn! About time. I’ve only been haranguing you to do some Pride and Prejudice porn for over a year. And may I say your choice of accompanying cocktail……emphasis on “cock” is quite inspired. It’s good you’re keeping abreast of new books and drinks. Bahahahahahahahaha!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Ya… I could never get into Darcy porn, personally! The first JAFF erotica I read was “Mr. Darcy and the Secrets to Becoming a Gentleman” (… I’m pretty sure that’s the one, at least) and it scarred my innocent little heart. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ’– OK. So, you know how “innocent” I am… But, Darcy and Lizzie are such a pure couple, I can’t wrap my mind around them doing naughty things!! 🀣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lizzie was probably pure and innocent but you cannot tell me Darcy didn’t have a few tricks up his sleeve, or down his pants, as the case may be. I’m sure he rocked her world on that wedding night.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. At which point when you saw the cover, title, blurb or author pen name did you ever imagine it was gonna be more than 3 stars? That said, I totally would have tried it too, just to see! Hahahahaha. Brilliant cocktail and entertaining review… as per usual for these ‘special’ stories!

    Like

  4. Speaking of odd references to the human body, the Song of Solomon in the Bible has some totally trippin’ sexual euphemisms. Gazelles, deer, henna blossoms, fruit, mountains of myrrh, sheep, pomegranate………it makes for some interesting and steamy reading. πŸ™‚ And you can just tell people you read it in the Bible and there’s not a damn thing they can tell you after that.

    Like

  5. OH. MY. GIDDY. AUNT. I couldn’t quite believe that extract was real! I had to read it three times to try and make sense of it πŸ˜‚ “His masculinity”?? Smdh!!! But I’m with you, “Norma de Plume” is absolute genius.

    Liked by 1 person

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